Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
