HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
