Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
