Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
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