it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
