if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize
