I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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