apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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