O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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