you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
this must be what syphilis tastes like
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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