I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize