just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
