last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
