Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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