Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
