im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You dont lie about slip and slides
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
