Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
