First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
