i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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