it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
