the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize