On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
