We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
