you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I just forgot I was standing up.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My bed smells like the plague
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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