I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize