Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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