i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My ass is underappreciated
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
