Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
We left an ass print on the piano.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The air was thick with penises
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
