She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
