I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
