Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
