I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
4 words: hood of his car
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
