no. you can't hotbox the world.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
