Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
