bring money and cleavage
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
