AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
