Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
