Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
