sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You need Xanax blowdarts
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
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