what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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