ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
