His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
