she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
