i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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