this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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