I look better un-naked...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
