Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Two words: nipple clamps
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