i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize