sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize