Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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