the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
