the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
