Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
