Dual....:-)
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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