I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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