That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
