Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize