Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
