I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
