Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
There's always time for handjobs
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
