Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
