shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
